Psychologist Warns: These 3 Common Relationship Nicknames Could Spell Trouble
While many couples use endearing nicknames like “honey” or “lovebug” as a sign of closeness, a psychologist is cautioning that certain pet names may hint at deeper relationship issues—and could even predict failure.
Dr. Mark Travers, a psychologist writing for Psychology Today, explains that although affectionate terms can deepen emotional connection, some are often used in ways that mask real problems. Rather than being harmless or sweet, they may serve as what he calls “emotional wallpaper”—something pretty that covers up cracks in the foundation.
So, which nicknames might be red flags instead of terms of endearment? According to Travers, these three should raise concern:
1. Babe or Baby
These two pet names are incredibly common, but Travers notes that using them too early in a relationship can create a false sense of intimacy.
“It gives the illusion of closeness before trust and emotional openness have had time to develop,” he writes.
Because such affectionate language triggers oxytocin—the hormone responsible for bonding—it can cause people to feel emotionally attached to someone who hasn’t truly earned that level of connection yet.
2. Sweetheart
At first glance, “sweetheart” may sound harmless. But Travers points out that it’s sometimes used to dismiss serious conversations.
Think of statements like, “You’re overthinking this, sweetheart,” or “Don’t stress that pretty little head.”
According to the psychologist, this is a classic example of emotional infantilization—treating a partner as though they’re too delicate or irrational to be taken seriously. Over time, this tactic can invalidate feelings and cause emotional harm.
3. Angel
On the surface, “angel” might sound like a tender nickname. But in some relationships, it becomes a tool for emotional avoidance, especially following conflict.
For instance, saying “Angel, don’t be upset” might seem caring, but Travers says it’s often used to gloss over real problems without addressing them.
This is a tactic he refers to as emotional appeasement—using sweetness and flattery to smooth things over without taking accountability or resolving deeper issues.
When Pet Names Are Healthy
Not all nicknames are manipulative, Travers reassures. In stable, emotionally mature relationships, they often represent genuine affection and can even ease tension during disagreements.
The key, he says, is to pay attention to why and when pet names are used. If they’re replacing real conversations or deflecting emotional responsibility, that’s a red flag. But when rooted in mutual respect and emotional openness, terms of endearment can actually strengthen the bond between partners.