Parenting Expert Sparks Debate Over Asking Babies for Consent During Diaper Changes
An Australian educator has ignited a fierce online debate after suggesting that parents should ask their babies for “permission” before changing their diapers.
Deanne Carson, who describes herself as a “sexuality educator and author,” argues that teaching consent should begin from the earliest moments of life—even during something as routine as nappy changes.
Her remarks, made during an interview with Australia’s ABC network, quickly spread online, drawing ridicule, criticism, and a handful of supportive voices.
The Idea Behind It
Carson insists the approach isn’t about expecting a literal “yes” or “no” from infants, who obviously lack the verbal skills to respond. Instead, she suggests it’s about laying the foundation for respect and body autonomy.
She explains that parents can narrate their actions—saying things like, “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?”—and then pause to look for eye contact or body language cues. According to Carson, this signals to the child that their responses matter, even if they can’t speak yet.
Many pediatricians already encourage parents to respond to babies’ non-verbal cues such as cooing, giggling, or squirming. Carson believes her method extends this practice by weaving in the principle of consent early on.
Critics Call It “Absurd”
Not everyone sees it that way. Critics were quick to dismiss Carson’s idea as impractical—or worse.
Rowan Dean, editor of The Spectator Australia, labeled it “lefty lunacy.” Parenting columnist John Rosemond went even further, writing in the Reno Gazette Journal that Carson’s proposal belongs in “the Weird and Even Weirder for the Most Bizarre Idea of All Time” category.
Online reactions were equally sharp.
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“When a baby is crying from a dirty diaper—that’s not consent, that’s a demand,” one user wrote.
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Another joked, “Do we also need to get consent from cats before changing their litter boxes?”
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Others accused Carson of being out of touch with real parenting, with one netizen bluntly adding: “She clearly has no experience with kids.”
Some even argued that leaving a child in a dirty diaper while waiting for “consent” could cross into neglect.
Supporters Say It’s About Respect
Despite the backlash, Carson also found defenders. Several commenters said her intentions were good, even if the diaper example went too far.
One supporter wrote: “Babies learn to communicate long before they speak. What harm is there in showing respect?”
Another noted: “She’s encouraging families to talk about consent from an early age, but people mock it because of the way she framed it.”
Others agreed that even if babies can’t truly consent, creating a respectful, communicative environment has benefits for trust and bonding.
A Polarizing Parenting Approach
The debate highlights how modern parenting conversations increasingly touch on values like bodily autonomy, communication, and respect. For some families, “asking” for consent might feel like an unnecessary step; for others, it’s an intentional way of modeling how consent should work later in life.
Whether parents agree with Carson or not, her comments have opened the door to a larger conversation: how early should lessons about consent begin?
👉 What do you think—should parents really ask their babies for permission before changing diapers, or is this taking things too far?