Dad Shares the Moment He Knew He Couldn’t Raise His Daughter in the U.S. — And Why His Family Is Starting Over in Spain
For years, Luna Ashley Santel dreamed of living overseas. She imagined a slower pace of life, safer streets, and a childhood for her daughter untouched by the anxieties that had become routine in America. But while she was ready to pack her bags, her husband wasn’t convinced — not until a single, unexpected moment in a Spanish café changed everything.
What began as a vacation ended as a life-altering realization.
Americans Leaving the U.S.: A Quiet but Growing Movement
There’s no clear, official count of how many Americans are leaving the U.S., but estimates suggest that roughly 8 million U.S. citizens now live abroad — nearly double the number from the late 1990s. While Mexico, Canada, and the U.K. remain top destinations, more families are beginning to look toward Europe, attracted by stability, public safety, and quality of life.
Some move because remote work has made it possible. Others chase more affordable housing or take advantage of “golden visa” programs — residency offered in exchange for property investments or contributions. But many, like Luna and her husband, are motivated by something deeper: safety, peace, and the hope of giving their children a life where danger isn’t a constant background noise.
The Moment Everything Changed
The turning point came during a simple outing in Spain.
Luna and her husband, visiting from St. Louis, stopped at a bustling café filled with people chatting, walking, laughing, and enjoying the warm atmosphere. It was crowded — the kind of environment that would normally make him tense back home.
But this time was different.
“Being from St. Louis, that’s not a very comfortable place for me to be in,” he said in Luna’s video. Then his wife leaned over and quietly asked him, “Have you seen all these people?”
He nodded.
“And you said, ‘None of them have guns,’” he recalled, repeating her words.
At that moment, something inside him shifted. He felt the absence of a burden he didn’t even realize he’d been carrying. “I realized this weight I had been carrying around my whole life wasn’t necessary,” he said. “What we think is normal is not normal.”
For him, it was the first time he felt what public life could be like without the constant underlying fear of gun violence — a fear so familiar in the U.S. that it had become invisible.
How Missouri and Spain Compare on Gun Policy
The family’s home state and their chosen new home couldn’t be more different when it comes to firearms.
-
Spain:
Owning a handgun is allowed only under strict conditions and usually when a person can prove they are in specific, verifiable danger. Gun deaths are rare — just 0.64 per 100,000 people in 2019. -
Missouri:
No permit is required to openly carry or conceal a firearm. In 2021, the state recorded 23.2 gun deaths per 100,000 people — more than 36 times higher than Spain’s rate.
These numbers highlight a stark reality many parents feel daily: simply going out in public, dropping children off at school, or entering a crowded space can come with a level of anxiety that shouldn’t be part of everyday life.
What Other Parents Are Saying
The family’s TikTok video struck a nerve, drawing in thousands of comments from Americans who feel exhausted by constant vigilance.
“There’s so much mental energy we dedicate to simply existing in the U.S.,” one user wrote.
“As a father of two boys, your husband’s explanation has me shook because I cannot disagree,” another said.
And many echoed the same fear:
“I am terrified for my son.”
These aren’t isolated feelings — they’re shared by parents, teachers, and young adults who increasingly question whether the environment they live in is one they want to raise children in.
A Former Teacher Speaks Out About School Safety
Luna didn’t need convincing on this point. She spent seven years as a teacher, witnessing firsthand how children were trained to respond to worst-case scenarios.
She calls intruder drills “terrifying” — exercises designed to prepare kids for something no child should have to imagine.
“That’s not something I want my 5-year-old to learn as normal,” she said. And she’s not alone. For many teachers and parents, these drills symbolize the emotional toll that comes with raising children in a country where school shootings have become tragically routine.
Why Families Like Theirs Are Leaving
Gun safety isn’t the only factor driving Americans overseas, but for many, it’s the final tipping point.
Other reasons include:
-
Rising cost of living
-
Political tensions
-
Interest in universal healthcare systems
-
Work–life balance
-
Affordable childcare
-
Safer public spaces
-
A desire for a slower, more community-focused lifestyle
For Luna’s family, moving to Spain isn’t just a relocation — it’s an act of hope. It’s a decision rooted in love, protection, and a belief that children deserve to grow up with curiosity instead of fear.