After 30 Years of Searching, Woman Comes Out as Abrosexual: “Finally, I Felt Seen”
Sexual attraction doesn’t always follow a fixed path—and for some people, it evolves, shifts, or fades entirely over time. For one woman, this long, confusing journey led her to a term she’d never heard before: abrosexuality. And in that word, she finally found peace.
“I Thought I Was a Lesbian… Then I Wasn’t”
For most of her adult life, Flint believed she was a lesbian.
But as the years passed, that identity didn’t always seem to fit. Sometimes she felt deeply connected to women, other times to people of multiple genders—and occasionally, she felt no attraction at all. The constant shifts weren’t a matter of indecision, she says, but of internal change.
“It wasn’t that I couldn’t make up my mind,” Flint shared. “It’s that my orientation genuinely shifted. One day I felt lesbian, then bisexual… and sometimes, I felt nothing. My sexuality was fluid, but I didn’t have the words for it.”
Then, during a late-night scroll through an online LGBTQ+ forum, she saw the word “abrosexual.” That moment changed everything.
“I finally felt seen,” she wrote.
💡 What Is Abrosexuality?
According to Healthline, abrosexuality is a lesser-known LGBTQ+ identity that refers to fluid and fluctuating sexual attraction. While other labels—like gay, bisexual, or pansexual—relate to who someone is attracted to, abrosexuality is about how often and in what ways that attraction changes.
Someone who is abrosexual might identify as gay for a period, then feel attraction to multiple genders, and later experience little or no sexual desire at all. And it can cycle again.
Flint explains, “For me, it’s not about gender. I’m drawn to the person, not the label. That’s why it doesn’t bother me if my attraction shifts—it doesn’t change my love.”
🚧 Facing Misunderstanding and Judgment
Even as Flint found clarity, acceptance wasn’t automatic. She says people often questioned her identity or pressured her to “pick a lane.”
“Some folks get uncomfortable when something doesn’t fit their boxes,” she says. “But just because you don’t understand a label doesn’t mean it isn’t real for someone else.”
Unfortunately, abrosexual individuals are often dismissed as “confused” or “trying to be trendy.” That stigma can be isolating—and for many, prevents them from ever naming their experience.
🧩 There’s No One Way to Be Abrosexual
One of the most important things to understand is that abrosexuality doesn’t follow a single pattern. Healthline provides a few hypothetical examples:
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Someone may feel attracted to men one week, to women the next, and feel indifferent the week after.
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Others may go through months of strong attraction, followed by periods of asexuality.
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And for some, it may shift only occasionally or in response to life changes.
These are just snapshots. For many, abrosexuality is an unpredictable but valid part of who they are.
🌱 “Growth Means Learning Who You Are”
Flint sees her journey not as one of confusion, but of self-discovery. And she believes visibility is key for others walking a similar path.
“We’re all learning about ourselves every day—that’s part of being human,” she writes. “I hope that someday, abrosexuality will just be seen as another way of existing—not as something strange or performative.”
Her story reminds us how powerful language and representation can be. For those who feel lost or mislabeled, hearing the right word at the right time can transform confusion into understanding—and loneliness into community.
Have you ever felt like your identity didn’t fit into one category? Share your thoughts in the comments and let’s open the door to deeper conversations.